Bethany's Stories
I started getting the funniest stories from my friend Bethany (a.k.a. B-dub) via email. So, I thought I'd share them with the rest of the world.
The anchors below are labeled with the subject and date of the original email.
Why Starbucks Confuses Me (3/26/2004) I don't understand Starbucks. We received a bag of decaff beans as a gift and we want a bag of regular beans. This should not be a difficult concept. And, Starbucks are freaking everywhere - Meijers, Barnes and Noble. I am just waiting for the car wash to put one in. Yet we haul this bag of beans all over West Chester and no one will let us make an even exchange for regular beans. I don't know, maybe it is a conspiracy. Maybe no one wants to the crappy decaff beans and so once the store finally gets rid of some they won't take them back under any circumstance. They say the real reason is that you can only make returns to freestanding stores, but I don't know if I believe them. So, I played along with their "return policy" (i.e. conspiracy) and took the beans to the downtown Starbucks. They readily agreed that I could make an exchange, but bulked when I asked for Hazelnut beans. Apparently Starbucks uses syrups to flavor their coffee so that you can taste the bean. They would never sell Hazelnut beans. Ok. The Starbucks girl offered that I could choose any bean as an even exchange but I said "what's the point if they aren't a flavor. Won't they all just taste like coffee." Apparently not. After this comment, I received a very informative 5 minute dissertation about the mix and flavor of some of their best sellers. During the speech I alternated thinking about ponies, what color I plan to paint my toenails tonight, and Graters Ice Cream. As a result, I still didn't have a clue what I wanted even after "Starbucks Beans 101." So, I just went with the same kind as we had before only regular. Supposedly it is a little sweet - not too bitter. Sounds good to me. So, I just took my regular beans and fled the store. Happy for the incident to come to an end.